Thoughtless

I have this feeling deep down of something calm but sad and depressing mixed in with hope and panic...what is this??

I feel weird....=/

Things are good, nothing gone really that wrong except for me hitting a mail box and my eyes messing up pretty badly but other than that things are peachy. Ive been entered into Scholastics for art but I dont know if i will win anything or not. I dont know what im going to do with some of it though because Im not completly finished and I dont know if it will look right when I put it on there...but anyways I think that everything will turn out alright. Anyways, tomorrow is my first day of violin lessons and I think that that will be pretty interesting considering the fact that I can barely get that thing to make a decient sounds or in fact a sound. Cant wait though.

Ive been thinking alot about my past and I have just been looking at how the way I've acted and I try and think to myself, do I need to change, is there anything that I can do to possibly make things right again or is that the way it's suppouse to be so that this other situation would happen, I dont know. I'm thankful for some of the things that have happened but I'm horrified of the output that its going to give me. I guess I just have to hold my head up and just hope for the best.

Another thing that has been bothering me is that I'm not as close with God as I once was. Yeah, I pray but rarely...I'll thank him for letting me be alive and ask for forgivness abunch but I just think is there really anything that I CAN be forgiven for. I dont know I have been cusing alot more than I normally do and it just makes me feel weird to know that and I just hate that honestly because I don't want to look like a hypocrit. That is my worst fear honestly. I hate that word. But yeah, I just wish that sometimes I could go back to that and fix the way that things have happened and just become close again. I don't want to forget or leave him you know what I mean....

Happy New year Everyone...

Just hope someone wont screw it up on the first day...

...and say something you dont want to hear.

Today was pretty interesting...

First off, me and my brother went to update his phone so that I could get his old phone instead of having my phone anymore and dealing with all that stress towards it and stuff and yeah, we got there and there was this whole big comotion towards this add about buy one get one free about how I couldnt get the other phone because my contract was up, well..that was interesting, so my brother was pissed about that situation and had to make two trips from home to verizon and everything and then that was just mad crazy but I finally have a new phone and everything so yea <3

Second off, it was my friend johnathans birthday HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOHNATHAN...and we were sitting there with his mom dad aunt and uncle and it got silent for a moment and then he just FARTED so loud and it was just so funny lol. Im suprised it didnt stink the way it sounded lol

I HATE EMO SHITE....-_- I mean like its hard to explain, some of it I can tolerate but others >.

Omg the best show in the world jack ass is on and johnny knoxvile is on sandpaper thingys trying to skate on them and its just hiarlious and now they are putting there buts on each other farting. lol that is so fregin funny. I love it. I like how people can be so stupid like that and just make everyone laugh and not really care about what other people think about them you know. Its kinda a role modle thing but just not to dress up like a dutch girl as a boy though and walk around with your crotches hanging out you know.lol its funny though i love it

Wow, christmas came and went too fast, it doesnt even feel like it was christmas, expecually with this warm weather outside...O_o. I still have to go shopping lol. I know that is horrible but hey, after christmas shopping sale! heck yes. But anyways, you know what I hate, when you wake up in the middle of the night to answer a phone call, and thenn you start talking out of your mind and everything. lol. like last night, i had a phone call and I didnt answer it the first two times and then I called them back and I was like, sorry I couldnt find the remote to my tv and they were like WHAT? are you talking about you make no sense and i was like i had to find the phone to the tv lol and i kept on saying that and then i finally made sense of everything. lol. I just hate sometimes how someone can ask you a question in the middle of the night and then you tell them something that you dont want to tell them, i dont kmnow if i have ever done that before but yeah lmao.

you know what sucks, there is so much to do on the internet but yet im so fregin bored of it. yeah, sad I know. So i make another entry lmao Im so stupid, i think that Im lacking to much sleep. lol

Hope everyone has a very good Christmas..

Mine was the skiznet. Awesome. I got me a new computer that I can acutally take upstairs and such so Im excited <3 and I got me some clothes which is awesome and some TOE SOCKS!! Ok, I dont want to seem like Im boasting about things so eventually Ill tell everything that I got in some kinda of spy way lol.

What did everyone get???<3

mmmkay, Im kinda bored. I woke up with a sick stomach and that blows some donkey. lol. I already feel like everything is just gone to fast right now, this whole year just flew by and expecually Christmas...wow..Now the thing that Im looking forward to most is Graduation, and I seriously can not wait for that to get here...

You know what I think sucks, alright, we get out for Christmas, and now we got to go back to the same fregin class that we had before, I dont have a problem with some of them but daggumit Im ready to get out of them. I think next semester I have, Business Law, Comp. Apps 3, Creative writing, and art 4 ap again I think. Wow. lol.